Change is good… no matter how painful

With summer vacation about to come to an end, and school about to start, I feel the winds of change blowin’ my direction… however hot they may be (and in South Texas, they’re damn hot).  If I’m to be completely honest, I’d say the changes necessary are both pivotal, and needed.  While I juggle a full time career with raising four kids, ages 2 and a half to 14 (40 if you count my husband), and try to manage to give myself some small piece of sanctuary ever so often… I’ve found that I am totally exhausted.  Daily.

I’d be fooling myself if I didn’t admit that it all starts with what I put in my mouth.  I know this.  I positively know that I can support very good health by eating foods the my species has eaten for a very long time, and staying away from those that have proven to be destructive and degenerating.  By doing exercises that improve circulation and nervous system health, I can achieve homeostasis.  I know this, because I’ve done it (but that’s not all I’ve done).  I see how easy it is to buy convenience foods, not necessarily fast food but still food that’s more convenient than it is nutritious, and I think I’m starting to see how the addiction starts.  Yes, it’s addiction (step one, admit you have a problem).  The food makes you feel so physically bad (and you justify the way you feel to placate your habit) that you don’t have the energy for anything that isn’t convenient.  I have to stop this cycle, or everyone in this house will suffer.  I’ve got to find a way to juggle my life’s demands, and still do the one thing that let’s me be me… and that’s to write.  And write what I want to write.  Funny… I was stressed beyond the horizon over money when I wasn’t working full time… but I was in love with my novel.  But I digress…

I threw back in with some rebels of like minds, and I am writing a bit… but honestly, the subject matter is bringing me down.  Some things in this world are just not going to change in my lifetime.  Do I really need to task myself with delivering a message that some people don’t want to hear?  Seems easier to pay it forward when I can, and take care of my own, because no one else is taking care of me (not even me) .  It’s been more than 3 months since I started rewriting my novel in 3rd person omniscient. I confessed to my daughter today how much I missed my characters… you know what she said?  “Me too.”   They had become part of my life (and hers), and I feel like I just abandoned them when they needed me the most.

I said in one of my first posts, that some of the best advice I’ve gotten when I completed (or so I thought) my manuscript, was to let my book rest for at least a month…. six is ideal.  I finished my manuscript in February.  You do the math.


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